This past week I have had to deal with the worst feelings I have had in a long time. We had to bury an amazing man who has been in our lives for over 10 years and made my wife’s side of the family more whole. I couldn’t hold the tears, nor could I hold the emotions I was feeling at the time. We as a whole were better off having him in our lives. Cindy, the girls and I are devistated. As I overcame my extreme anxiety if caskets I paid my respects as best I could and sadly had to retreat to a corner of the funeral home… Piano music playing from speakers that just encouraged the emotions to come forth. I sat there for hours in disbelief and denial not wanting to believe it was him.
The funeral was the hardest part. They spoke about his life and legacy. All he had in his life from work friends to family. His accomplishments, demeanor, cook out food, drones and fireworks. There are so many things that will never be the same. It’s a pain that will manifest many times over the next few years all because of a heart attack. One foul swoop and he was taken from us.
This has helped to put life in perspective for me. Who we touch with our hearts, minds, and souls. Every day we go through life with an idea of what we are doing tomorrow, next week, or even next year but what if tomorrow never comes? What will your legacy be?
One thing that keeps falling back into my mind as the days go past and we have to find that new reality without someone special in it. What if I succeeded in my attempts at taking my life? What if, instead of me sitting here grieving the loss of someone truly amazing but instead laying in the same place 5 years prior? Why am I even here? It just doesn’t seem right but that is the reality of the situation.
He loved life! He lived it to the fullest everyday and I hope that I can do the same. I can not allow myself to continue without keeping that with me. To be that amazing person in others lives. Life is precious and way to damn short. We will never know when we must leave this place behind but when we do, we must leave a legacy.
When I wanted to die my legacy would have had more questions than answers. Friends would have been devistated, a spouse and children destroyed. Sure, life will continue on but is it worth stopping before it’s truly over? Just as he did we must live our lives to the fullest everyday and work to achieve what we want.
“Life is to short to not be happy” is what my mom says. He said “don’t ever settle for less than what you want.” I’m here today to tell you this:
Don’t ever take for granted the people in your life. Don’t forget to tell them you love them. Don’t forget to be there. Don’t forget…. Them! Live your life to your best potential and hold those you love near. There is a lot more to life than the issues you face. Leave a legacy that others will cherish.
Fire in the hole Dale… Fire in the hole
Photo credit to wikimedia