Ok. So today I decided to do something as a first. I posted on my Facebook and asked for questions from those who know me. Questions they wanted answers to and were afraid to ask. Some are quite interesting…. Some are twisted just as my friends and I are, and others are just awesome questions so I am going to answer them all.
Meagan: What is your interpulpillary distance?
Well Meagan, the distance between my pupils seems like an interesting question so I will tell you they are just shy of 1 3/4″.
CJ: What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
African or European?
(Please see Search for the Holy Grail if you didn’t get that joke.)
Jaimee: How long has this process been so far?
Jaimee, it has taken far to long but I started low dose hormones almost 3 1/2 years ago. I have transitioned slow for the comfort of my wife, children, and family. This seems to have worked much better than just showing up in a skirt and saying “take me or leave me.”
David: What do you find helps you the most in transition?
Amazing friends and supporters.
What do you find is the absolute hardest thing?
Dealing with major social anxiety while in public. It is hard to act natural.
What do you find has been easy, but you thought would be more of a challenge?
Acceptance from peers and the ability to make friends. I feared complete rejection and resigned myself to living a life of solitude yet this journey has been the total opposite.
Stacey: Is there anything in your life experiences that you would have changed?
No. Everything I have experienced and done has made me the person I am today. I regret nothing.
Jim: When can you fix the muffler on my car?
And day it isn’t raining.
Kaity: When did you realize that you were transgender? Was it an “aha” moment? Or did it happen over a period of time?
Kaity, this is an amazing question! I realized something was “different” when I was around 6 or 7. I grew all through high school feeling wrong or different and never knew the answer of why. After graduation I continued to crossdress and once I found the internet I got the answer. Transgender was the issue, but I slowly came to the acceptance phase. It took me years and many dark days. So it was early, the aha came with the Internet, and acceptance was the slow road.
Nick: Have you been a gun chick at heart all along?
I will precursor this by stating I have a decent collection of antique and historic military firearms. I was also featured (as Mike) on a shot show called Black Jacks armory on YouTube. I have handle some very powerful rifles and though this may seem like a compensatory hobby, I will say that I was always a gun chick. That will never change.
Tim: Would driveway gravel be an acceptable contraception alternative to condoms? What about a plastic bag that a newspaper comes in?
Well Tim, I would think the gravel would be an amazing substituted because your ability to properly consummate intercourse would be inhibited exponentially depending on the amount and grit you chose. As for a newspaper bag, I will just say that you better get use to being called daddy because I have never received a dry newspaper in those bags. It water can’t stay out of it, I doubt it would hold much in.
In an alternative universe where red is green and the sky is orange, how do you think Rosie Odonnell looks in crotchless underwear.
Ummmm…. I think I just puked a little in my mouth.
Does it still make you nervous going out in public and possibly running into someone that might not know yet? It’s crossed my mind when we’ve been places and I wasn’t sure how you’d handle a situation like that face to face.
Yes, on occasion I do have my bouts with social anxiety. I have had many experiences in “coming out” to the old friends who didn’t get the memo. It is never easy, but I have become more comfortable doing it over time. Happily I have enough amazing people in my life that if they don’t accept or understand, I have many who do and they are what keeps me here.
Laura: I’ve always wondered how your girls handled it or what they thought since obviously they have watched it all and where you nervous about how they would react?
Well Laura, I will say that from what I have seen, they are amazing. My two younger ones didn’t have to many issues as they were younger so society had not had their grasp in them yet. As for Jessica, she had a very hard time when I first started dealing with everything. She has had a hard road in the transition, but she has acclimated well over the long term.
Was I nervous? Absolutely! My girls are my world and I never want to hurt them. I strive for them to have a great life and I worry every day if I am doing everything in a way that is conducive to their long term well being.
Danielle: What is your biggest fear? Have you come up with an alternative daddy name? Can your mom make me chili?
Danielle, I’m sure I could place an order for chili sometime soon at Cafe Davis. We can try and work out reservation times.
An alternative daddy name… We have slowly discussed it and we are looking at Dee or Dede… But I want it to be their choice and will allow them to acclimate at their pace.
Biggest fear… Public bathrooms hands down.
Dave: Would you, if presented the option, cut off both your pinky fingers with a plastic knife to be awarded a new Ford GT?
Ummmm. Yea! I would even supply the plastic knife. Who wouldn’t for a $250,000 super rare 600 horsepower turbo super car?
If you could go back in time and leave a quote for your 18 year old self, what would that quote be?
“It’s about being YOU, no matter what society thinks.” Sona
Jess: If you were a color, what would you taste like?
White monster and cigarettes…
Beth: Will I ever get to breed Macaws?
If I knew what that was… I would answer. Guessing it is a bird?
Jess S: Where have you been all my life?
Right here! I’ve never moved away. But truthfully it is better late than never.
Did estrogen make you think more female?
Yes!!! It is hard to explain though. Nothing major has changed in the was of like hobbies and tastes… But occasionally I find strange things like singing to a Maroon 5 song or something crazy like that…
Chuck: After the transition did you have trouble driving with a manual transmission?
In tennis shoes or flats I’ll still out shift you… Now driving in heels is a bitch and adding the 3rd petal makes it harder, but I still manage. I’ll be rowing the gears till the end.
Bryan: Can I have the Super Coupe?
No!!! That car will be with me for a good many years to come. Maybe I’ll let you ride in it someday.
Maritza: How are you handling it with your kids?
Slow and steady.
How long of a process is it?
Many years. Some do it in 6 month to a year but I took the longer road. It was worth the extra time to me.
How much better do you feel now actually being yourself and living as you were meant to live?
It is amazing. I could never begin to describe the hell that was in my head. Every person you meet and every friend you have is based on a false pretense of the very core of who you actually are. I had a great life before yet I was miserable. Now I feel free, and every relationship I have is based in the real me and it seems she is a lot better than he ever was.
Emily: How has the process been with your wife? How has the transition positively or negatively affected your marriage?
I’m going to bring my wife into this to have an accurate answer.
“Stressful. It is a learning process to be sure but I try to concentrate on other things and avoid the emotions when I can. It is all day by day. I would say that her attitude has improved greatly. Mood swings are less and the angry side has calmed a lot. As for a negative, I would have to say that the learning curve with her transition can cause triggers that can lead to emotional outbursts that would usually be uncommon.” This was Cindy responding.
Jasmine: What’s your biggest goal in life now? What drives you?
Helping others… I strive to help others never see the hell I did. My biggest goal is to help others survive. If I save only one life, I can feel I have done something.
Lora: How mad do you get at those of us who screw up and call you Mike?
Well… It hurts. I can’t say I get mad so much as sad. I also contain this feeling because everyone around me is trying very hard and considering it took me 10 plus years to wrap my head around it all, I don’t expect others to catch on in month after knowing me as Mike for 4+ years.
Andrew: Is left to right an acceptable way to wipe?
Well I prefer a front to back, but as long as it is all clean, what does it hurt anyway…
Barbie: How and when did you decide to “go for it”?
Well that is going to bring out a dark story but…
It was after my 4th suicide attempt. I was starting down the barrel of a gun and ready to be gone. I wanted to die. Something changed in my head that night. I gave myself one year to come out, and find the words to tell others the truth. One year because I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. That was 4 years ago. I have never looked back and because of the fact that I am still here, I smile everyday. I smile because I am the real me, yet I still make others happy. I smile because I’m still alive.