The meaning of life. 

What is truly the meaning of life?   Is it success in something or does it go deeper.   Do most even know what the true meaning of life is in their own perfect dream world?   The who, what, where, when and why in the story of our own life.   Now, the length of our story is of no control to us but the content is everything. It is up to us how the story will go. 
Many stories have a plot twist, yet they still end with context and meaning.  I have had many friends that only became a short story.  Struck down in their younger years for no fault of their own.  I still remember summer school before my senior year… A girl in our class had passed, another clinging to life.  I remember being there as they buried a coworker and wishing so many more could have know him.  I remember burying a friend, and as we were at the calling hours seeing my face in so many pictures that were placed on the poster board.  Sadly, I have also had the call of others taking their own life because it was all to much to bear.  Moments in time that will never be forgotten.   My story has lost so many amazing characters that it feels more like The Walking Dead then real life, yet here I stand ready to write the next chapter.  
I have survived the ignorance of my youth.  I have managed to live, and not till recently did I feel there was a reason.  Depression in fog so thick you could cut it with a knife… hoping you would slip and hit a vein.  This however was not how my story was to end.  I was not meant to be a statistic, I was to be something more. It was time for me to start writing the story of my life but where the story takes me is my biggest interest.   
What a skeletal wreck of a man I was… T minus my life and counting.  No faith in humanity in the face of adversity.  No more feelings except pain.  I was alive, yet I was dead.  This was not what my story was to be.  There had to be more for me.  Now I have said it before, but it is worth repeating that one girl who did wonders for me made a simple quote… “It is about being YOU, no matter what society thinks.”   This was my story to write for me and my loved ones.  It is not the story for others to tell.  Sure, Sona said something so small, yet it changed my world.   I needed to find the meaning of not just life, but my life.  
This is when I learned that I had lost faith in humanity not because of others, but because if myself.  I refused to see the good in people not because I didn’t want to see it but that I needed that negativity to reinforce what I felt.   For years this was my life and not only did I hurt myself, I also had three amazing girls and a wife in tow.  Mood swings and anger almost daily, a fuse so short it could blow any second and every pain came out in an explosion.  Not the best example of a parent any child should have. 
Everything changed in an instant.  I started to see the good in people. I started to search for it.  I started to see clearly for the first time but not because I had to as much as I wanted to. I wanted to see the beauty in this world.  I wanted to see the kindness and beauty in this life.  I knew there was more out there if I would only open my eyes.  
As a close friend and I talked, she said something that rang true to what I was looking for.  It is the little things that matter.  It isn’t the actions in hopes of praise, but the unspoken that matter.   When she was separated from her spouse, she had a place to stay, but not enough for everything and her friend, out of kindness purchased her a blanket.  To some this would seem irrelevant, but to the person in need it meant the world.  Years later, she still had not forgotten this and helped another person with a mattress.  A place to sleep when another didn’t have one.   Small things, like picking up lunch for someone have a whole new meaning when you see the kindness in the action. 
Life is not about what you are, it is about who you are.  It is about building up a community and others you hold dear.   Life is about paying it forward.  What could have been a monetary bill in your pocket that instead helped someone get to work.   The content of ones character shining through on the days when others are at their last nerve.  
Life my friends, is about helping others in the darkest of times.  Life is not about being a transperson, or gay, or however you identify. It is not about your salary or your house. The one thing we can all agree on in life is that there isn’t one of us getting out of here alive. Why not make the best of it and make someone else’s day better in the process.   Is it really that difficult to care for another without a selfish reason.  No, it is not hard at all.  
It would amaze some how just a hug can change someone’s day.  One small light, like a dim flashlight on a starless night can make all the difference.  One smile that can be contagious or a laugh that can fill a room.  Being you is the greatest gift of all. Not just for yourself, but for everyone.   Life is what you make of it.  It is what you write and how you want it to go. No excuses, just love and perseverance.  Follow that weather vein and head due course to the life you deserve.  
Image was taken by myself in 2013

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